


I wonder if I'll ever see you again

by sixbucksandwingless (ed_geins_tailor)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x23, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, castiel - Freeform, spn spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:18:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ed_geins_tailor/pseuds/sixbucksandwingless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas contemplates Metatron's words. 9x23 coda. Contains spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wonder if I'll ever see you again

He would have gratefully died, then.

Metatron's words resounded in his head: "Ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what? He's dead too."

Those words still hounded him, even though Metatron sat powerless in a cell now.

_Dean Winchester was dead._

It mocked him, those words. They mocked the first words he had shouted as he cradled that broken soul out of hell, cradled that fragile half-human thing in his arms.

_Dean Winchester is saved._

He still remembered it like it had happened yesterday. In an angel's sense of time, it had.

But he was not truly an angel anymore.

Angels' hearts don't break. They don't crumble under the pressure of knowing that the one they truly gave everything for, the one they truly loved, was gone.  
"Dean..." he muttered brokenly in the solitude of what was once Metatron's lair. The others had left him alone, sensing the uproar inside him.

Everything he had done since he had pulled one human out of perdition, everything he had given, everything he had sacrificed....that was gone.

He hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye.

A solitary tear slipped down his cheek, and he let it. 

The lesson he had learned when he had been briefly human came back to him, stronger and more painful than it had been on the nights he spent in the back room of the Gas n' Sip, head pillowed on his work vest.

He was in love with Dean Winchester. He was truly, irrevocably in love with him.

And now his love was dead.

And he was here in Heaven...but that gave him no comfort.

He could open the Veil again, he could free those trapped.

Would Dean be one of them?

Or would the Mark drag him down to his ultimate fate?

Castiel bent and held his head in his hands. If he had had his true grace back, he would have known the second Dean had died.

Had Metatron lied?

There was the slightest, smallest spark of hope that he had.

Oh, he so desperately hoped that was the case.

The tears came freely then, his all-too-human heart crushed under the pressure of so many feelings, and the only word he could say was _Dean._  
 _I will find you, my beloved. I will know the truth._

_And I will tell you that I love you._


End file.
